GOD’S STANDARDS FOR A HUSBAND AND FATHER
BY NATHANIEL A. URSHAN

Husband

Religion is not something to be relegated to the satin-and-lace class. It holds
plenty of interest and challenge for virile men though our actions sometimes suggest
otherwise. I read three rich portions in the book of Ephesians, which fling a demanding
challenge to the best of men. In Ephesians 5:23, 25-28, the Lord presents the challenge of
the right relationship of a man to his wife; chapter 6, verse 4, his relationship to the
children; chapter 6, verses 10-11, his relationship to his God.

"The husband is the head of the wife. "

I picture in my mind a big, strong man overly conscious of what he considers his
masculine superiority as he berates his loyal, loving wife with this fragment of Scripture.
However, I have noticed in the Word of God that when a position of authority is given,
some qualifications are also laid down. For example, `A pastor must be vigilant, sober ...
not greedy of filthy lucre;" "a deacon must be grave, not double tongued..." So the ruler
of the home must rule in God's way if he is to remain the rightful head. God's own stated
requirement is, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and
gave himself for it."

Adam lost the opportunity to be head of the church when He chose sin in the
Garden of Eden. Jesus earned this forfeited position when he chose Calvary's cup in the
Garden of Gethsemane. So a man must manifest this same completely altruistic spirit to
earn the right to be the head of a wife.

A woman is not under obligation to obey the command of an unregenerated,
unreasonable husband. She may go to church and she must obey God rather than man.
She must serve the Lord!

If a man has met the qualifications of unselfish love for his wife, he will not find
it difficult to be the head of his home. Jesus does not force a person to do anything in
direct violation of that person's will. So a husband should so behave that his wife will
want to fulfill his desires. Then he is "the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of
the church." A man's love for his wife is shown also by his willingness to protect his
wife, home, reputation, and spiritual welfare. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them
according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered ... be
courteous" (I Peter 3:7-8).




Father

`And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the
nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). The Ephesians who received this
letter lived in a thriving center of paganism. Here it was that the immoral goddess Diana
was worshipped. (Acts 19:28). These pagans would beat a child mercilessly, carelessly,
even to death if they wished. The purpose in punishing should be to correct and train the
child, certainly not to give vent to pagan anger. A man badly needs to remember that his
hands can hit hard enough to kill a full-grown man. What about a fragile child? Perhaps
one reason that some people mysteriously turn criminal is that in their childhood they
were not punished on the basis of right and wrong but rather according to the irritation of
the parents. As a result, they never learned the lesson, "Whatsoever a man soweth, that
shall he also reap." It was the habit of pagans to over-command their children and
subsequently to vent their wrath on the child for failure to finish assigned duties. A child
does have great and marvelous potential and abilities but we should also bear in mind that
he has limitations. Harnessing is good, but chaining is veration. "Ye fathers... .bring them
up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Sometimes I fear, that men read this verse
as "You mothers bring them up in the nurture...." The word "nurture" carries with it the
idea of training or perhaps drilling. The context suggests that it is the father's duty to drill
his children in their right relationship and responsibility to the Lord.

Certainly the father should be the leader of the family in religious habits: saying
grace at the table, family prayer, church attendance, and in physical habits-manners,
temperance and etiquette. Once a Sunday school teacher described the Lord Jesus to her
pupils and asked them to guess who she was talking about. As she reached about
midpoint in her description, one child said innocently, "That's my daddy." God expects us
as fathers to be a living epistle of Christianity to our children.

A man's prayer relationship to God is beautifully summed up in Ephesians 6:10-
11: "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the
whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil."
A truly successful father seeks the Lord's power and the guidance of the Holy Spirit!
Only God can give the grace to fathers to be the princes of their home that they ought to
be. Only the Lord's armor can protect you and bring you to ultimate victory. (See
Ephesians 6:12-18.)
If you measure up to God's standard of Christian manhood, you are a responsible
leader, a representative of God, a warrior, protector, and counselor to your family to
guide them to greatness in the Lord.

After sixty-one years of marriage, my wife and I have the blessing of all of our
children and thirteen grandchildren being in the church. This is not boasting. This is a
grateful expression of the goodness of God and His ability to keep His promises to those
who will serve Him with a sincere and strong desire.

It is my hope that this article will bring a deep sense of recognition to every
husband and father to somehow adopt the meaning of scriptural manhood involved in
being a husband and a father. These are the Lord's standards scripturally, which we must
continually follow.


THE ABOVE MATERIAL WAS PUBLISHED BY THE PENTECOSTAL HERALD,
FEBRUARY, 2003, PAGES 12, 17. THIS MATERAIL IS COPYRIGHTED AND
MAY BE USED FOR STUDY & RESEARCH PURPOSES ONLY.